Crossbones WSA Sunday Performance 2-24-13

My Brush With the Spinners, Old Skool R&B Hitmakers

The Spinners and I go back a long way. Yep, back to the days when they were really hot. Before we used the word "hot" like that. Back when we used cool phrases like "right on" or "sho ya right." Okay, I'm old. But I first saw the Spinners when I was in high school. On a Saturday night at the Coliseum, I pushed my way to the front row when the lights went out. I sang along with every song, word for word. When they got to the part in Rubberband Man where the "short fat guy" danced and threw his oversized rubberband into the audience, I wrestled a boy down for it and won. I thought he was a girl at first, but a closer look revealed a man/girl. I kept that rubberband for many years.

I saw the Spinners many times later in more intimate settings. Two of these stands out...In the late 1990s they came to the Hilton Hotel on Countyline, and this time I was with Ron. The lead singer, who had taken Philippè Soul Wynne's place-- the one who still had the Jheri curl-- well, he kept eyeing me. I mean it. For real. So much so that Ron pointed it out saying, "You see, you're so beautiful, he can't keep his eyes off of you." I jokingly replied that I must look like his wife. But then he made the "come here" jester with his pointer finger, asking me to come up on the stage. What? I nearly fainted. He wanted me to come up there and sing with him! Ron was trying to push me up there, but I kept saying no, no! I won out. I was not going up there!!! He soon gave up, but he kept an eye on me the entire show. I don't know what that was about.

         
The last time I saw the Spinner was around 2002 at the county fair. They put on a great show, but the short fat guy had to have oxygen after the show. Ron and I watched as they took him on a golf cart back to their tour bus. Last year, I saw the Spinners on the TV One series, Unsung, and I learned that many of them are dead now. After sharing his breathtaking falsetto in songs like Mighty Love, Sadie, and Ghetto Child, Philippè Soul Wynne left the band in 1977, and in 1984 collapsed on stage while performing at a night club in Oakland, California, succumbing to a heart attack on my birthday (July 15) at age 43. The bass singer, Pervis Jackson, a heavy smoker (well known for his standout bass lines in Games People Play) died of a heart attack in 2008; the short fat guy, Billy Henderson, who had diabetes and heart problems, died in 2004. Are you wondering what happened to my boyfriend with the Jheri curl? Unfortunately, John Edwards suffered a stroke in 2000 and is now in a wheel chair. He still sports a curl, though.

My Brush With Barack Obama, President of the United States

From Across the Room (a blog series about my brush with interesting people)

Who'd a thought the light-skinned young man I was looking at while sitting in that restaurant owned by Issac Byrd (a well-known, local lawyer) a few years ago would one day be the president of the United States? I guess they knew (the people who brought him to Mississippi), but I didn't. All I knew was that he was a charismatic, important, young, black, up-and-coming politician with a funny name from Chicago who wanted to be an Illinois U.S. Senator. That was huge, even for us here in Mississippi. So, I wanted to attend the breakfast and donate a little money to his campaign. I listened carefully to what Mr. Obama had to say that morning. Low and behold, the man was breath-taking! I am not kidding you. I know something special when I see it and this man had it.  So much so that I reached deep into my pocket book and donated $200 I did not have and another $100 given to me from Mom Potter (who was visiting from Illinois). I do not have to tell you the rest of the story because you already know it. It's American History....which I witnessed just last month with my own eyes in Washington, D.C when Mr. Obama was sworn in for a second term (it was amazing just to be there and see his tiny ant face again...that's how far back I was).  One last thing, though.... you all know about that gad-fly of a smoking habit that our president has, right? Well, I saw it with my own eyes. I stuck around outside long enough to see him get into his limo, light a cigarette and take a  quick puff. He sped off in haste, calming his worked-up nerves, I'm sure.

From Across the Room, a blog series about my brush with interesting people

Just for the fun of it I will be writing a blog series about my brush with people of interest. I am going to call it "From Across the Room." I was thinking the other day how we value deep stuff so much. Well, I was also thinking how much I talk about the little things and how light-hearted things like spotting interesting people often rise to the top of our conversation. As I was thinking about this, many names came to mind. These people often enter my conversations and make me and others smile, think, imagine, and dream. I've brushed spaces with quite a few interesting people. In this series you will hear about my special tiny moments with Barack Obama, Denzel Washington, Jessie Jackson, the Jackson 5, Bill Clinton, James Meredith, Arsenio Hall, Stephanie Mills, Thelma Hopkins, Walter Hawkins, the Spinners, Fred Hammond and Commissioned, John Louis,Tom Skinner, and yes, Byron De La Beckwith, the man who killed Medgar Evers. What an interesting list. I'll tell you all about it in short, easy to read essays.

Sunday Dinner with James Meredith, The Unfolding of Unusual Events

        "This all happened for a reason. It wasn't you, it wasn't me. It was God." This is how James Meredith described how he came to our house for Sunday dinner. Ron, I, and everyone there had to agree with Mr. Meredith. It was a combination of interesting events that led us to the table together.

Mr. James Meredith in 1962

         As I was sitting in the choir stand during the eleven o'clock service, I looked up and saw James Meredith walking toward the front to his seat. I had seen him several times and noticed how he appreciated our singing. Even though Mr. Meredith is a mild-mannered man, sometimes he stood up and clapped. I found out later that Ron had invited him to the front because he knew Mr. Meredith had hearing problems. I noted at that time the significance of his attending our church. Why Redeemer? I wanted to know. That was my first encounter that day.

         Earlier that morning, the Potter family rose early and prepared for Sunday School. While Ron and the girls dressed, I had my quiet time about trusting God, obeying God, and how the Lord is our help (Psalms 121 is now my new favorite passage) and was hit hard by the scriptures and my daily reading. More than usual. Then the unfolding of events began.

         Ron was scheduled to teach a total of 10 classes this semester -- counting all of the Old Testament and Philosophy classes, the Ekklesia classes and a special class for Grace University. He knew he was over-extended when the superintendent of the Sunday School called him and asked if he would teach a course on the Old Testament. Ron hesitated at first then he remembered how he had been critical of reformed Presbyterian preachers for not teaching from the Old Testament enough. Ron agreed to take the class and now had a total of 11 classes this semester. He seemed excited, though, because Ron loves to teach. He was to present a summary of his Old Testament class at 9:45 during a plenary session which was a review of all the new Sunday School classes. During Ron's presentation he said he looked into the audience and saw James Meredith.

         After the review session, Mr. Meredith was talking to a group of "young folks" (as he recalled them). As Ron approached the group, Mr. Meredith told the youth that Mr. Potter was "half-stepping." Everyone laughed nervously, but Ron was curious about what he meant. They began talking, but had to cut the conversation short because they had to get to the eleven o'clock service. They told each other they would talk further when they got the chance.

          In the meantime, I was at home preparing the Sunday dinner. This was strange because it had been a while since I had prepared a Sunday dinner and invited guest. This had been a common thing for years, but lately we had been going out. The day before, I just felt that I wanted to do it and begin to plan the menu. That morning I had texted my BFF Loretta Galbreath and invited her to attend. Ron's mentee and friend, Pete, had told Ron he would be at Sunday School and church and would be there for dinner after church. So it would be those two and the Potters.

          I had made greens on Saturday, prepared the meatloaf for cooking and pealed potatoes for mashed potatoes after the girls and Ron left for Sunday School. I would cook the meat, cornbread and rolls when I returned from church. Unfortunately, I had burned the bottom of the greens, and although half of them were salvageable I decided I needed to add a salad. After church, as I walked to my car, I was talking to Marculis and Akida and asked them if they had plans for lunch. They had no plans so they followed me home. I asked Ron to go to Piggly Wiggly for salad greens. I specifically asked him to go to Piggly Wiggly because it is close to our house and I wanted him back fast, and because he would not usually choose Piggly Wiggly because Kroger is his "favorite." We always tease him about it.

          Ron did not return quickly. I called him and he said he was at Kroger. He claimed Piggly Wiggly did not have spring mix. I was aggravated because he'd done this before -- skipped Piggly Wiggly for Kroger, therefore taking a long time when I am at the house waiting for whatever he went to get. I was about to go off when he asked,  "Do we have enough for one more for dinner?" He then said, hold on and then came back. Before I could answer he said, "It's James Meredith." I was confused for a minute, "James Meredith? You mean the James Meredith? I saw him at church this morning." "Yes, that's him. We have to finish our talk." I didn't know what Ron was talking about, but I responded, "Of course, of course. We have plenty."

            Loretta arrived and brought her son Matt whom I had not seen for a while, so I was happy to see him. I told everyone who Ron was bringing. They all glared at me like they were thinking about what I said. I glared back and said, "Yes, it's the James Meredith from Ole Miss."

             Ron came home and Mr. Meredith walked through the door. Everybody approached him with great respect and a little awe. I liked the way Marculis approached him and shook his hand. He said it so respectful, "It's nice to meet you Mr. Meredith." I thought about what Mr. Meredith had done in 1962 that helped make it possible for Marculis to attend a white seminary in Mississippi. Everyone shook Mr. Meredith's hand and he acknowledged that he had looked forward to meeting Dr. Perkins's (whom he admired and followed) daughter and Ron's wife. I was humbled. He wore an Ole Miss cap which remained on his head the entire time.



At the table with Mr. Meredith

         While Mr. Meredith was in the restroom, Ron quickly told us in a lowered voice how he had seen Mr. Meredith sitting alone in the deli section of Kroger reading the newspaper. He looked up and saw Ron and said, "Now we can finish our talk." Ron asked him if he wanted to come to our house for dinner. He told him about me and that we had friends over and would love to have him. Evidently, this is when Ron received my call because I could tell he was talking to someone when he answered. In fact he'd asked Mr.Meredith to dinner while on the phone with me.

         Everyone sat down and the conversation began. Mr. Meredith told us how he believed it was God who orchestrated his visit with us. The whole thing between he and Ron was the way it as suppose to be, he said. So we all settled in to listen to what Mr. Meredith had to say. He has a little nervous way about him. He is aware that people think he is wacky because of the way he thinks, the things he's said or were attributed to him, and some of the things he has done in life. Several times he spoke about the media and how they twist things into what they want to say. Over the years, he's been misquoted, he said. And I know the media has shown him to be eccentric because that is what I thought of him without ever speaking to him. He spoke about being "looked up on the computer" and how he was told by someone that sites that talk about him get thousands of hits, yet people still do not know what he is about. Later, I googled Mr. Meredith and there is plenty on the Internet, mostly other peoples' interpretation of Mr.Meredith's entrance to Ole Miss and the circumstance surrounding that breakthrough era.

         We talked about Redeemer and I sort of got my earlier question answered. Why did James Meredith attend Redeemer? It was tough getting a straight, concise answer, but he talked about Mike Campbell, our pastor, and he stated that "he is the only person in the world who could lead Redeemer." That was a big statement and may not be true, but we all agreed that it was the special leading of God that brought Mike Campbell to Redeemer at the beginning of our new church. Mr. Meredith said one of our elders had been asking him to come for years and he finally started coming. What he found was something he had never seen before. The multi-cultural worship in a predominately white denomination with a black pastor amazed him. He said he went home to research what "particularized" meant and studied the history of the Presbyterian church. He told us that the historical southern Presbyterian church was the most racist, although the most wealthy. He and Ron then had discourse on the history of the Presbyterian Church and its sorted history relative to African Americans, how the PCA began in 1973 and how our particular church was different, and that maybe Redeemer redeems the denomination in many ways. Ron stated that Redeemer is an anomaly within southern Presbyterianism in Mississippi.
         Okay, when Ron and his theologian friend start philosophying, my eyes glaze over, so I brought the conversation back to the here and now by asking Mr. Meredith if he liked the choir. "That choir seems like they know what they are doing, been doing it for a long time," he said with a little excitement. I had seen him enjoy the choir from where I sit in the choir. However, he said he had never seen a choir that got up and left before the sermon. He said he thought the members were leaving to go to their own church, that Redeemer brought talent just to sing (I believe he was talking about the black choir members). He could not believe that people who sang like that would be members of a church like Redeemer. That brought a huge laugh. We informed Mr. Meredith that all choir members were members of the church and that we left the choir stand so that we would not distract from the message, to put up our robes and circle around and enter through the back to be seated with our families for the sermon. We wondered if any other new-comers may have thought that at first.

          Mr. Meredith said he had a message for us. He pulled out a few pieces of paper which he distributed. We all read it. This is what it said:

                    GOD'S MESSAGE FOR OUR TIME!

By Prophet James Meredith (the first Black to go to Ole Miss)

Only the Family of God can solve the problems of our time. The Bible says -- "You should Train-Up a child in the way he should go, and when he is  old he will not depart from it." The African Proverb says "It takes a whole village to Raise a child."

         That's it. So naturally we had a lot of questions. I asked him a two-part question so I could really understand his message. "Who are the family of God and how do you think the family of God can train up a child in the way he should go?" I saw that my questions made him nervous. Mr. Meredith said that God had told him not to go trying to explain why and how because the message would get all mixed up with him and his will and his prior reputation. He said that he had just learned that it's not about him, but about God's will. He had to take himself out of it. He gave me the impression that at his late age he'd learned to humble himself and not give his opinion so much. He said he preferred that people interpret his message their own way. He did throw in that Redeemer could not carry "it" out. I asked what he meant and I already knew that I would not receive a clear answer. He talked about the type of people that came to our church -- the affluent and the wannabe affluent -- from what he could see. Mr. Meredith knew it was strange to call himself a prophet and he told us why he did. He said he was just a messenger. He explained why he put "the first black to go to Ole Miss" -- because that's how some people know him. So he spoke in spurts of thoughts, which belied his eccentricity, but left us to interpret his words on our own.       
         I told him about my background in ministry that focused on Leadership Development, child evangelism, education, spiritual development for children, teens and young people. I told him about CCDA which has over 500 organizations attempting to do the same thing -- letting him know that there are some examples of people carrying out his message (as I interpreted it). We concluded that Mr. Meredith believes that each individual person, individual parents and families, and individual churches and organizations should carry out God's message to positively influence our  children in their own way and in the way that God leads them. But whatever you do and however you do it, focus on raising your children in the Lord.



James Meredith entering Ole Miss under armed guards.

         After desert and coffee, we asked Mr. Meredith if we could take photographs with him. He laughed and stated, "It's not like I never have to do that." Since he loves the choir, we decided to sing a farewell song for him. Loretta sat down at the piano and luckily we had a soprano, an alto and a tenor. We sang in pretty good harmony "Perfect Praise" while Mr. Meredith listened with a smile. "Y'all gonna make it," he said as he rose to leave. I took that to mean that he liked it. By then I was use to interpreting his words in my own way.

        If I had not decided to make dinner, I wouldn't have burned the greens. If I had not burned the greens, Ron would not have gone to the store for salad. If Piggly Wiggly would have had the spring mix, Ron would not have gone to Kroger. If Ron had not decided to teach the Old Testament class, he would not have been there for the plenary session. If Mr. Meredith had not come to the session and spoke with Ron afterwards, he probably would not have spoken to Ron in Kroger even if he saw him.The unusual unfolding of these events is why I agree with Mr.Meredith. Our historical time together was orchestrated by the Lord.

        Mr. Meredith did not talk about what he was famous for like you would think. He had a simple message which he said he would use the rest of his life to spread. At age 77, he seems determined to do it. Even though it was difficult to get a thorough understanding of his message from him, we all felt blessed to listen and be in the presence of a man who was brave enough to be the first to integrate Ole Miss which helped open the door of reconciliation for us all.



Prayer with Mr. Meredith




Akida, Joanie and Matt singing "Perfect Praise" for James Meredith who loves the Redeemer Choir



Adoption, God’s Special Gift

Whether you are religious or not, you probably know in your heart when you are involved in a miracle. That’s the way many people see adoption. Many see adoption as God’s special gift to the adoptive parents, to the child, and to the people around them.

“When I look at my daughters, I see God’s work,” said Melody, an adoptive parent of Deana and Jeana. “I know God brought us all together.” Melody believes God knew what he was doing when he chose each person for their family. “It’s a perfect fit,” she added.

As an adoption attorney, I do know that all adoptions aren’t perfect. Just like we know that all families aren’t perfect. All adoption families aren’t either. But there is something almost supernatural about adoptive parents’ ability to love a child immediately upon seeing him and an adoptive mother trying to explain how she feels as if she had the child with her own body. And how can any human explain the depth of love being the same between adoptive parents and children as between natural mother and child?

It’s miraculous to see adoptive families overcome obstacle after obstacle to end up with a smooth final adoption. Jonathan and Sarah were blessed with a newborn baby boy which was a miracle in itself, but there were problems with the birth father. The birth mother was tight-lipped about his identity, but gave his first name. Being a judge, Jonathan knew that the parental rights of the natural father had to be terminated before adoption could be finalized. A Petition was filed in court, the court appointed a Guardian ad Litem (attorney for the child) to investigate the identity of the natural father, among other things. The statutory six month waiting period was torture. What if the natural father was found and wanted the child? What would they do if the law required them to give up the child? After following all statutory requirements, the court terminated the rights of the natural father and allowed Jonathan and Sarah to adopt the child they already considered their own. They saw the way it all worked out as their special wonder.

What should Melony say when strangers comment how much Deana looks like her and how Jeana looks like her husband?  Should she just smile and say “thank you” or should she tell them her children are adopted? Sometimes she tells them her children are adopted so she can amaze them.  One old lady once responded, “Well, what they say must be true. If you feed ‘em long enough they start looking like you.”  Sometimes it’s probably more that if a child lives with you long enough she begins picking up your mannerism, thus appearing to look like you.  Whatever it is, the fact remains, many times adoptive children resemble their adoptive parents.  Melony says she prefers to think that if she looks like Deana then it’s all a part of God’s adoption plan for her.

Adoption is one way God takes care of little children. And while he’s taking care of children, the adoptive family gets caught up in the wonder of it all too. Adoptive families are sometimes surprised how friends, acquaintances, and people they don’t even know are mesmerized by adoption stories and the beauty of non-biological families coming together. Everyone is touched in one way or another by the miracle of adoption. It truly is a gift to us all.

She's just fine at home

I received a lot of advice about my daughter and her need to spend every weekend with her friends. But one little jewel of advice stood out. She said that sometimes teens need to stay home just to be a part of everyday family life on the weekend. I found that to be good enough reason to say "no" to the weekend teen gathering sometimes. This past weekend my daughter took on a project she had been thinking about for a while -- redecorating her room. She decided that instead of getting new furniture she would paint her old furniture. My pocketbook and I were thrilled about that. She started painting furniture yesterday and plans to paint her room walls next week with one of her K-5 friends who is a aspiring decorator. The dresser she painted white yesterday looks so great. I could tell that she felt good about staying home and accomplishing something she had not found time to do before. Thanks for the advice, friends.