She's just fine at home

I received a lot of advice about my daughter and her need to spend every weekend with her friends. But one little jewel of advice stood out. She said that sometimes teens need to stay home just to be a part of everyday family life on the weekend. I found that to be good enough reason to say "no" to the weekend teen gathering sometimes. This past weekend my daughter took on a project she had been thinking about for a while -- redecorating her room. She decided that instead of getting new furniture she would paint her old furniture. My pocketbook and I were thrilled about that. She started painting furniture yesterday and plans to paint her room walls next week with one of her K-5 friends who is a aspiring decorator. The dresser she painted white yesterday looks so great. I could tell that she felt good about staying home and accomplishing something she had not found time to do before. Thanks for the advice, friends.

What's a parent of a teenage girl to do?

Lately, Varah has really gotten involved with 4 other girls. They call themselves the K-5 which means Korean Five. One of the girls is Korean and the group has intentionally taken on some Korean culture --learning the language, watching Korean soap operas, listening to pop Korean groups and watching the videos, etc. I like this about the girls. They all seem to enjoy and embrace diversity. Two of the girls come from a ministry family -- much like the one in which I grew up.Varah comes home with clothes from "the box", food from the pantry -- all donations to the ministry.

I am concerned, however. The K-5 are asking us, their parents, to allow them to spend weekends together. Every Friday Varah comes to me asking if she can spend the night at the ministry girls' house. On Saturday, she comes to me and asks if she can spend Saturday night and go to church with them on Sunday. On Sunday, she asks if she can spend Sunday night and go to school with them on Monday. They all attend the same school and the older ones drive (The girls range in age from 15-18). This happened about 4 weekends in a row. I allowed it for the whole weekend two times and partial weekends two times. I am feeling a little tense about this. I'm asking myself should I let her or shouldn't I? I think about what Varah would do if she were at home. Not much. She walks around looking really bored after doing her chores. She could be having fun with her friends. I can't think of any reasons why I shouldn't let her go except that I can't see what she is doing.

I must say that one thing Varah does while she is gone is call and text me every time she makes a move -- say when she gets in the car to go somewhere, etc. She keeps me posted on what she is doing at all times. I must also say that Varah is a good girl. She is smart and discerning for her age. She talks about what she thinks and I know her pretty well. This helps when I let her go places with her friend.

The questions are: Should I let her go every time she asks if she has nothing else to do? If not, why not? Varah is 15...should I be letting her go and spend the weekend with her friends at this age? If I let her, what information should I get from her, the girls and their parents. I've met two of three parents and they are great.

If you have any ideas, I would appreciate your input.