Whether you are religious or not, you probably know in your heart when you are involved in a miracle. That’s the way many people see adoption. Many see adoption as God’s special gift to the adoptive parents, to the child, and to the people around them.
“When I look at my daughters, I see God’s work,” said Melody, an adoptive parent of Deana and Jeana. “I know God brought us all together.” Melody believes God knew what he was doing when he chose each person for their family. “It’s a perfect fit,” she added.
As an adoption attorney, I do know that all adoptions aren’t perfect. Just like we know that all families aren’t perfect. All adoption families aren’t either. But there is something almost supernatural about adoptive parents’ ability to love a child immediately upon seeing him and an adoptive mother trying to explain how she feels as if she had the child with her own body. And how can any human explain the depth of love being the same between adoptive parents and children as between natural mother and child?
It’s miraculous to see adoptive families overcome obstacle after obstacle to end up with a smooth final adoption. Jonathan and Sarah were blessed with a newborn baby boy which was a miracle in itself, but there were problems with the birth father. The birth mother was tight-lipped about his identity, but gave his first name. Being a judge, Jonathan knew that the parental rights of the natural father had to be terminated before adoption could be finalized. A Petition was filed in court, the court appointed a Guardian ad Litem (attorney for the child) to investigate the identity of the natural father, among other things. The statutory six month waiting period was torture. What if the natural father was found and wanted the child? What would they do if the law required them to give up the child? After following all statutory requirements, the court terminated the rights of the natural father and allowed Jonathan and Sarah to adopt the child they already considered their own. They saw the way it all worked out as their special wonder.
What should Melony say when strangers comment how much Deana looks like her and how Jeana looks like her husband? Should she just smile and say “thank you” or should she tell them her children are adopted? Sometimes she tells them her children are adopted so she can amaze them. One old lady once responded, “Well, what they say must be true. If you feed ‘em long enough they start looking like you.” Sometimes it’s probably more that if a child lives with you long enough she begins picking up your mannerism, thus appearing to look like you. Whatever it is, the fact remains, many times adoptive children resemble their adoptive parents. Melony says she prefers to think that if she looks like Deana then it’s all a part of God’s adoption plan for her.
Adoption is one way God takes care of little children. And while he’s taking care of children, the adoptive family gets caught up in the wonder of it all too. Adoptive families are sometimes surprised how friends, acquaintances, and people they don’t even know are mesmerized by adoption stories and the beauty of non-biological families coming together. Everyone is touched in one way or another by the miracle of adoption. It truly is a gift to us all.
